Shinji, Asuka and The Last Angel
by Tashikawa
Summary: Shinji is left in an awkward stance as Misato and Asuka distance themselves from him. Feeling as if he must do something, he tries to comfort Asuka the best he can after her mind was invaded by the angel. I rated it pg-13 for an attempted suicide...
1. Suicide

Okay, well, this story came kinda randomly, seeing as I haven't finished writing any other fanfics that I have published…Hopefully this one may be the lucky one. I got a bit inspired by Evangelion and even more by the few stories I read about Evangelion over the internet. For no reason I guess, I wanted to write a story about Shinji's and Asuka's relationship.  
  
This is version 1.4 if you want to be technical. I'm trying to fix as many mistakes in the original as possible okay? Please cut me some slack here.  
  
**-Asuka, Shinji and the Last Angel-**  
  
Shinji ate dinner alone for the fourth night in a row. He had been cooking each meal for the past week expecting Misato or at least Asuka to join in, but Asuka had not left her room since she got out of the hospital and Misato was absent for the time being. Misato had left some sort of note saying she was going to go looking for someone and Shinji could guess who she was referring to, he wouldn't stop her.  
  
It had been three weeks since Asuka had been mentally violated by the 15th angel. It was only seven days ago though, when she was thought to be in a stable enough state to leave the hospital. Shinji couldn't help but be worried though, seeing as he had to leave her food by her door every day. Misato told Shinji that he shouldn't try to interfere with Asuka while she was in this state, but Shinji was worried all the same.  
  
"It just doesn't seem right to see Asuka in this kind of state", thought Shinji. "To be honest, I would even prefer her in her obnoxious moods than in a state of such depression." Pen-pen crossed the room, took a beer and without looking at Shinji once, went back to his fridge. If only life was as simple as it was to a pinguin, Shinji thought to himself.  
  
Finally, Shinji got up and put away his dishes. As usual, he saved some food in the fridge in case Misato would return home and want something to eat, but the chances of that were so slim that he was only doing it for ruitine's sake.  
  
He stalled for a minute though, while he held Asuka's food in his hands. "How long is she going to be like this?" He continued to hold her plate in his hands as if it was the only connection with her he had for the moment, savoring it. As he walked to her closed door though, he stalled once again.  
  
He didn't want to keep running away. Even though Misato didn't want him interfering with her, he didn't want to sit around and do nothing. "I promised I wouldn't run away," he thought to himself.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Shinji knocked on Asuka's door as loud as he dared and cleared his throat. "Um, a-Asuka? C-can I c-come in? It's me, um, Shinji…you in there Asuka?" He waited patiently for some sort of answer or some sort of sign that the person inside the room could hear him. Though when there was no answer, he hesitated. Finally, he called in a bit louder: "Asuka, can you hear me? I, I'm coming in, o-okay?" Shinji started opening the door, though there was no light emanating from within.  
  
As soon as he had opened the door all the way, time seemed to pause. Asuka's room was very clean, as if nothing had been touched at all. There were only some scrap pieces of food at the side of her bed. That was when Shinji noticed that there was no one in the room other than him!  
  
"Asuka?" Shinji called a bit louder. He carefully stepped into the room, holding her plate out in front of him. "A-Asuka, I brought your dinner, is it okay if I-…"  
  
Shinji stopped in mid-phrase, nobody was in this room, it was empty. Shinji furiously looked around, forgetting the food in his hands. He dropped the plate as he looked through her closet and under her bed, but Asuka was nowhere to be seen.

Shinji raced back into the hallway, trying to think of a place she might go. Finally settling, he ran through the kitchen, bathroom, and his own bedroom before he found himself staring out the living room window. Out on the Balcony beyond the window was a red haried girl sitting precariously off the edge of the railing over the street below.

"ASUKA! NO!" Shinji dropped and ran towards double doors. He used all his strength to try and pull them open before seeing they were locked. Cursing under his breath, Shinji unhooked both catches on the sliding doors and pulled them open. "Wh-what are you doing Asuka?!"  
  
Asuka turned her head towards him for a moment and Shinji could see that her face had become much more gaunt than he was used to seeing. Then, without saying a word she slipped on the rail and began to fall towards the streets below.  
  
"STOP ASUKA!" Shouted Shinji. He ran as fast as he could and practically jumped towards the ledge. Her fingers were just disappearing from view and Shinji once again felt as helpless to save her as he did during the 15th angel attack.  
  
"No…" Shinji thought. "I couldn't do anything that time, I don't want a repeat. I WON'T RUN AWAY!" Shinji gathered all his strength and landed on his waist over the rail. He plummeted his right hand downwards and barely caught hers while the other reached towards the railing for support.  
  
The rail creaked under the strain of two bodies, but nevertheless held strong. Shinji was surprised at the same time as he held on to Asuka. She was as limp as a doll as he held onto her life by his hand. She didn't look upwards at him right away. Shinji noted that he was definitely capable of pulling her upwards now. She had lost so much weight that it was no problem for Shinji to hoist her up.  
  
It was only as Asuka felt the hand pulling her upwards did she muster the energy to look upwards. Asuka didn't know what to think when she saw Shinji straining to pull her limp body upwards. Though at that moment, even though she didn't do anything, she felt a warmth towards him inside of her. She didn't get a surge of hope right then, but she felt a bit more inclined to live for some reason.  
  
Asuka worked and grabbed onto shinji's wrist with both of her hands as he brought her upwards.  
  
It seemed like forever, but finally Shinji was able to pull Asuka's body all the way into the protective barrier of the balcony. Though Shinji didn't stop there. He took Asuka by the shoulder and only let go one they were both safely inside the apartment. Shinji then locked the door from the inside again and turned towards her. He then grabbed her around the shoulders and even against her will brought her back into her own room while carefully stepping over the spilled dinner.  
  
Asuka looked away as Shinji stared at her, she didn't want to have to look at him now. He was probably the person she would have least liked in the world to have helped her. INstead she focused her gaze on the floor.  
  
"A-Asuka," Shinji finally broke the silence, "…w-why?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Why Asuka? Wh-what happened? Wh-what's wrong with you?" Shinji's voice started to crack.  
  
"…"  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ASUKA?!" Shinji finally yelled. Asuka didn't flinch but hardened her gaze on the floor.  
  
"Please, Asuka. Please can you tell me what's wrong. Please?" Shinji felt ashamed at having to yell at her. He felt so sorry for her.  
  
"I don't want your sympathy." Asuka finally retorted. "I didn't need you and I don't need you now either."  
  
"Asuka what do you mean by that? What were you doing on the balcony just now then?  
  
"Simple," said Asuka, "I accidentally locked myself outside. So I couldn't do anything."  
  
"Then what were you doing on the railing Asuka?"  
  
Asuka continued looking at the floor, but there was no mistake that tears were starting to develop in her eyes.  
  
"C-can you just talk to me Asuka?..."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Asuka finally yelled. "I DON"T NEED YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE ALL OF YOU. I JUST WISH YOU WOULD ALL JUST DIE! I HATE YOU!!!"  
  
Shinji was taken aback by this. Asuka was standing up now glaring at him. She was made all the more terrifying because of her now gaunt figure. She was breathing heavily and had curled her fists into balls. Shinji was able to restrain his emotions though, he remembered Kaji was good at controlling his anger, so he would try as well.  
  
"Asuka," said Shinji, backing away until he leant on the sliding doors. "…I d-don't understand anything here. My life I mean. I know that yours must be pretty messed up, but there are many others who have gone through worse…HEY! I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry!" Shinji quickly added seeing the anger on Asuka's face.  
  
"I DON"T…want your sympathy…" Asuka was still standing but she was shivering at the same time. Shinji wasn't sure if she was shaking from sadness or anger.  
  
"Asuka, Please, if it helps, I'm the one to blame."  
  
Asuka suddenly looked up from her tears at him.  
  
"If it will make you feel better, it was my fault you had to go through all this. I couldn't help when the 15th angel attacked. Plus I had humiliated you both when I beat your synchronization ratios and the other angel in front of you."  
  
She just stood in front of Shinji now, Asuka had stopped crying and shaking while listening to Shinji.  
  
"To be honest Asuka, I don't want to see you like this. I would prefer to see you when you're all self confident and annoying rather than see you like this, it's just too scary. You were strong enough to hold your painful memories inside of you and continually strive to be the best, but wouldn't that also qualify as running from those memories as well? I looked up to you if you can believe that, heh heh…"  
  
Shinji looked straight into Asuka's eyes when he said his next words, "Are you running from the painful memories that you too hold within you?"  
  
There was a moment of silence. Asuka seemed to be in quiet shock while Shinji stood against the door. He somewhat regretted his words because it would force her to relive those memories as well. He didn't want to cause any more pain. He wanted to stop her from suffering like this, but he had no idea how. He definitely knew that he cared for her, but to what extent?  
  
Suddenly Asuka started crying again. She was standing with her head down sniffing. "How dare you…" Shinji looked up as Asuka started to speak again.  
  
"How what?"  
  
"How…HOW DARE YOU!!!" Asuka took a step towards him shouting dangerously. "HOW DARE YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, TRYING TO LECTURE ME!!! ME: ASUKA LANGLEY SOHRYU!!!" Shinji couldn't back away from her, he was pressed as far back from Asuka as he could. But she took another step towards him anyways. "I HATE YOU. IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU!!! I HATE EVERYONE!!!"  
  
Shinji was actually afraid now, she was definitely beyond reason. He didn't know what to do so he just tried to say the most reassuring things that came to his mind. "A-Asuka, p-please stop. I-I-I don't know what you're going through…  
  
"DAMN RIGHT YOU DON"T, YOU STUPID PIECE OF…"  
  
"…But, p-please Asuka, what's making you hate everybody?"  
  
Asuka stopped in mid sentence. She couldn't answer that question herself. She had just felt all the built in hatred and she wanted to release it all on the only person in front of her right now. Shinji.  
  
But she couldn't, she didn't know what feeling this was. This whole time it was Shinji who was trying to help her, she knew that. But she couldn't accept it. He was the one she hated. He was the one she wanted most dead. So why was he the person she had to respect most? Suddenly she felt weary, her anger was dissolving into sadness and she still didn't know why.  
  
"Asuka…"  
  
Asuka looked up into Shinji, for the first time she was actually aware that he was being as compassionate as he ever was towards her.  
  
"I-is, was it so bad, that you really wanted to end it all?"  
  
"Sniff I have, nothing else. I can't pilot an Eva anymore. Why can't you just respect me and let me END THIS SUFFERING!!!"  
  
"Asuka," Shinji finally thought he understood why he cared for Asuka so much. "You really want to end it like this? I've told myself and others the same thing, Asuka, don't you ever say you don't have anything else. There is always something else. I promise Asuka, please, will you at least let me try to stop your suffering without having to resort to death? I'm respecting you by telling you not to throw your life away."  
  
"Shinji…" Asuka felt as if she couldn't breathe. She hated him the most, she loved him more than anyone. Why? Why did she keep running away? She never wanted anyone to comfort her, but that's exactly what she wanted now. She promised she would never cry, but she was doing so now, in front of Shinji. It made her so mad and at the same time, it made her feel cared for.  
  
"Erm, Asuka?" Shinji asked quietly. "W-what…what i-is it?" Shinji thought he may have gone too far, just when he was debating whether he should actually leave Asuka to herself she looked up at him for the first time without a face contorted with rage.  
  
"Y-you…idiot." Her face was twisted up in a half frown, half smirk.  
  
"Um…what?!"  
  
Asuka couldn't help herself, she didn't want to keep suffering on her own anymore. She started to slump towards the ground for a second, then regained herself as she looked up towards Shinji's weary face. She felt sick that she actually put him through all this. She knew he had never asked for any sympathy even though he had gone through just as much as well. "Why do I have to be so stubborn," she thought?  
  
Just then, Asuka launched herself at Shinji. He wasn't expecting this and he didn't have any time to react. She fell into his chest knocking the air out of him. He knew that he wouldn't be able to fight back while winded like this. Shinji tried to grab for something, anything, arms flailing around. Finally, he lost his balance and slumped sideways onto the floor. Asuka though, followed as well, still holding him around his chest.  
  
Shinji came to rest in a sitting position between Asuka's door and beaurau. He was sprawled with his legs open half sitting, while Asuka was almost lying on top of him now. He had expected Asuka to get up after that and try and make for the balcony again but to his surprise she was still holding him. Both of them were sprawled on the floor a bit awkwardly but she wasn't fighting anymore.  
  
Shinji looked down to see Asuka shaking. She was crying on him, not the way he would have ever expected to see someone her age. She was crying and moaning as if she was in pain. Shinji looked down at her and felt miserable. It made him feel sad as well seeing her cry into his shoulder.  
  
Not knowing what to do and definitely not knowing anything to say to Asuka, Shinji took both his arms and wrapped them around Asuka and leant his head on hers for comfort. It felt really weird for him to be comforting Asuka in his arms, it was even a bit embarrassing as he turned a bit red. Though this was the best thing he could think of doing for her at the moment.

Asuka felt his arms around her and she felt like punching him, but it was she that was now asking Shinji for support. She relaxed and let Shinji hold her as she slowly let out all the pain of recent events on him.  
  
As Asuka cried in Shinji's arms, the sky became darker as the sun set. He could see her meal that he dropped earlier on the floor a little ways away from them. Shinji finally felt though, that he may have done something worthy. He felt more worthwhile at the thought of being able to comfort Asuka.  
  
Asuka's moans slowly became sniffles as the night wore on, until she was finally fast asleep in Shinji's arms. Shinji was awake the whole time, rubbing her back every so often to remind her he was there. Seeing as she was finally asleep, he sighed and leant his head back. He felt relief and pleasure at the same time. Relief that she had finally gone to sleep and pleasure that he had finally had a chance to help Asuka face to face with her emotions. He was happy as well because at any other time she would have snarled at just the idea of touching or being touched by him.  
  
Looking over the bedside table, Shinji got startled seeing that it was one thirty in the morning. He didn't even feel the time going by. He guessed that it must have been because he was with Asuka. Even though he wanted to deny it, after watching the other nature to Asuka, he felt more attached towards her to anybody in his life. He picked her up and was once again painfully reminded of how much weight she had lost.  
  
"God Asuka," Shinji muttered to himself as he laid her on her bed. "I could lift you with one hand if I wanted to. Why do you do this…?" Shinji stepped back to see her lying peacefully in her bed at last. Looking down at the mess on the floor he groaned.  
  
"Well, hopefully she will overlook this…," thought Shinji to himself. "…Of course, Asuka will never be as forgiving as that," he thought afterwards.

* * *

Well, I don't exactly know what to say. None of my stories get many reviews, so to be honest, if I get even ONE STINKING REVIEW!!! …then I will gladly write another chapter. Up until now, let me count me reviews…one…two…crap, is that all?!  
  
You get the point. I WANT REVIEWS DAMMIT…(starts crying…)  
  
Ps…You wondering about why I chose that title?...well, don't worry, I didn't forget or add the "angel" part for no reason, keep reading and you'll find out lol. 


	2. and she's okay?

_Wel I have read through the comments again and again and have decided to do a few updates on this story. I am still not ready to fully continue the story yet, I'm still focusing on finishing one other fic, but this will be the next one, I promise._

_I don't keep track of disclaimers, dates, or how many errors my story has. The errors are there for a reason of course...heh heh..._

* * *

**Asuka Shinji and the last angel.(chap 2)  
**

"Aw crap...Shinji?"

Shinji Ikari slowely woke to a voice outside his room. The shadow of the person behind his door was definetly that of a female. He was going to call out to see if it was Asuka when the door opened and a purple haired woman walked into his room. He quietly lay on his bed, silent, trying to get his body in motion since he was just waking up.

Misato sat on the edge of his bed and looked down at Shinji. "Shinji. I'm sorry. I know I haven't been spending enough time with you, but there are some things that require my attention at the moment." Shinji vaguely wondered why they were having this conversation before Misato cut into his thoughts again. "That was no reason to leave garbage around my apartment on purpose. If you want to get my attention, you can do it with words, not actions Shinji."

Shinji looked slightly confused at Misato before her words registered and he remembered in vivide detail the events of last night. "OH! The food! I'm sorry Misato, I forgot to clean it up when I spilled it, I was too tired and...well, there wasn't enough time for-..." Shinji was going to try and find more excuses when he also figured out what Misato was getting at. "Huh? No, I didn't do that out of frustration Misato, there were some complicated things last night..."

Misato waited for him to finish his thought, but all he did was sigh and roll over onto his side on his bed, smiling. That was what perturbed her the most, the fact that Shinji had actually smiled on his own for the first time in about a week that she had seen him. She started to get suspicious. "Be honest here Shinji, I know something's up. Would you mind letting me in on it? It's good to see you're looking happy again."

Shinji looked at her for a second before deciding. "No, not yet. If Asuka doesn't say anything then I don't think I should say."

This, of course, took Misato by surprise. She sat there for a few minutes trying to run through the possible scenario's through her head. She was hoping against the most scary one even though it was the most unlikely. "Shinji...you didn't...I hope that you didn't just...last night..."

Shinji's face grew bright red as he figured out what she was saying. "WHAT?!?!??!" He shook his head a few times and tried to push Misato off his bed. "You're sick, where do you get those idea's from anyways?"

Misato started to laugh, she was overjoyed that Shinji was seemingly getting over what was eating him from the inside. After the death of Rei and learning her secret, he was in a state of depression and there was nobody to help him thorugh it this time. Asuka was in the hospital most of the time and Misato even doubted her sanity. Shinji and Asuka had changed so much since they first came here, Misato hated how they were treated like pawns in this war. It was either the fact that he helped himself, or that someone helped him...more likely the latter, Misato thought to herself. She just hoped that Shinji would finally be willing to fight against the last and 17th angel when it appeared. He was the last avaliable pilot left that could pilot Unit-01.

"Okay, you going to cook breakfast or do you want me to? If you want to cook, get out of bed now, I'm hungry." Misato tried to change the mood away from her thoughts.

"Awww, c'mon Misato. What time is it anyway...I just want to sleep-..."

"Fine, you sleep, I'll cook."

"ALRIGHT!!! I'm up okay? See? I'm out of bed, I'm getting ready to-...DON"T YOU DARE GET NEAR THAT STOVE MISATO!!!"

My cooking's not THAT bad is it, Misato silently thought to herself, slightly hurt.

---

Shinji had finished cooking breakfast for Misato and was silently debating whether he should make breakfast for Asuka as well. He wasn't sure if she would come out today, or what her feelings toward him would be anymore...He finally decided just to whip up a few pancakes in case she did actually get up. Otherwise, he could just save them for her.

Just as Shinji finished his own meal and was walking toward Asuka's room with a plate of food for her, the door opened and out walked a half-asleep red head. She looked at the shock on Shinji's face for a moment before grinning, though it was more of a twitch of her cheeck muscles from the fatigue she was in.

"Guten...Morgan, Baka..." Before Shinji could reply she lazily stomped off into the bathroom. Shinji heard the water running, then Misato's voice from the kitchen:

"Shinji? You didn't eat your breakfast yet, what are you doing in the shower?"

"I'm right here." Shinji walked up behind Misato and she jumped hearing him right behind her.

"Wait a minute....you...here...shower...HUH?!"

"Asuka's awake, I'll leave her pancakes here, so don't worry. You should leave for work now."

Misato's mouth was almost limply hanging open, if it weren't for the fact that it looked as if she was trying to say something which made her jaw bob up and down. "Asuka's...awake?"

Misato finally cracked. She went to the fridge and pulled out a single can of beer and downed it in one gulp. "Damn! This is too much in one morning for me to handle." Shinji was slightly surprised that Misato had just broken her oath to stop drinking, but he didn't have a problem with it at the moment. She seemed happier today, and he found no reason in denying her that feeling. As long as she didn't return to her old habit, it was okay once in awhile.

---

"We're going to school today, so we'll see you later Misato." Shinji stated as Misato left for work, although he wasn't entirely sure with what Asuka would be thinking. He didn't want to force her to go to school, but after finally being rebuilt less than a week ago, he hadn't been there yet either. He was hoping maybe he could walk to school with Asuka as they normally did.

This was the thought that drove Shinji's willpower that morning. He finally had a reason to continue living. To help, or at least be around Asuka.

* * *

-Yeah, this chapter is a bit short I know, but I'm trying to redo most of the story. I orignally wrote this story by sitting at the computer and typing everything on my head and then posting it on fanfiction. The later chapters obviously weren't as good as the first one, so that's why I'm changing it to make more sense. But I would like to point out that it is natural for Asuka to have mood swings.

-KEEP REVIEWING!!! I WANT A REVIEW FOR EVERY CHAPTER!!! IF YOU DON"T, THEN I WILL...uhhh, I seriously don't know...

....YOU"VE BEEN WARNED!!!


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